God’s Goodness In the Silence
by Bernadette Tan
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9
2 Corinthians 12:9 became a comforting truth during a more challenging season of my life as a young adult. From a young age, a clear calling toward a career in the medical field gave my life direction and stability. However, after graduating from college, my path took an unexpected turn. Rejections from several medical schools left me very uncertain about my future and with a pre-med degree I had invested the past 4 years studying for that I wasn’t too sure what to do with.
The security that came from knowing the plan for my life was now replaced with confusion and chaos. Desperate to recreate some sense of order in my life I embarked on a relentless pursuit to get back to the original. I sent out numerous medical field related job applications and applied to various graduate programs in an attempt to regain control over my uncertain future. All efforts led to rejection and each one felt like a personal defeat, compounding frustration and a sense of abandonment from God.
I moved back in with my parents and started waitressing to make ends meet. I felt adrift and directionless for the first time in my life. Questions flooded my mind: Why had God led me down this path only to seemingly close every door? What was His plan for my life now? Despite prayers and earnest seeking, I often felt met with silence rather than answers. This silence fueled frustration and deepened my sense of inadequacy.
I distinctly remember the day I reached a breaking point. It was "napkin day" at the restaurant, where 300 napkins needed folding before the lunch crowd arrived. Our boss demanded such meticulous detail that it often made me question if experience in origami should have been a prerequisite in the job description. After laboring for three long hours, I was asked to refold all of them because they were deemed “too lumpy.” That pushed me over the edge into exasperation. It felt like a continuous cycle of failing: giving my all and still falling short with everything – job pursuits, life direction, and now even napkin folding! The months of built up frustration and exhaustion overwhelmed me; tears flowed freely as I grappled with pent-up anger, disappointment, and bitterness.
In that moment of vulnerability, God gently reminded me of 2 Corinthians 12:9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." This revelation shifted my perspective profoundly. I was not alone in this trial and realized I didn’t have to keep striving for control. He was asking me to place my effort, my burden and my trust in Him.
Looking back, I see how God allowed that period of uncertainty and waiting to deepen my faith and reliance on Him. His grace became my refuge, and His presence brought a peace that surpassed understanding. He taught me that His answers were not always straightforward or immediate—they could be as clear as a perfectly folded napkin or as puzzling as a heap of lumpy ones. For me, His answer was often silence—not one without instruction, but a silence that was an invitation to trust Him more deeply and rest in His sovereignty.
Through that journey, the Lord gifted me with an opportunity to learn how to surrender, embracing His timing and plan. In Christ, I found true direction and purpose—not in the pursuit of a career or achieving personal ambitions, but in knowing and trusting the One who holds my future in His hands. Christ demonstrates His deep care for every aspect of our lives, whether in moments of strength or weakness, clarity or confusion. What tremendous peace and reassurance to know He can be glorified even we feel like we are not enough.
Reflecting on that challenging but special season, gratitude fills me for the way God used uncertainty to shape character and deepen faith. Assurance comes not from worldly answers, but from leaning into Christ. His grace sustains, His presence guides, and His plans exceed all expectations.
REFLECTION:
Are there areas of your life where things have not gone according to plan that have led to feelings of confusion, hurt, etc?
If so, what are some steps you can take to surrender those areas to the Lord?
What does it mean or look like to bring our burdens to him?