Silence & Solitude
By Michael Stufflebeam
Silence is Golden
“Be Still and Know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10
Spiritual Disciplines. The mere mention of the topic conjures up in our mind images of Nacho Libre wearing a drab gray wool smock, a horribly bad bowl haircut living in poverty, praying and repeatedly cooking beans for the good of the order. The conclusion, that is great for a select few, maybe, but is it what Scripture means when talking about spiritual disciplines?
I like Dallas Willard’s definition of Spiritual Disciplines, “rightly understood, are time-tested activities consciously undertaken by us as new men and women to allow our spirit ever-increasing sway over our embodied selves.” What he means by that is that the Church has for years identified actions that we can use to help free ourselves from the brokenness of sin and the distractions of our present life.
Two of the simplest yet challenging of those disciplines are Silence and Solitude. The two are intricately linked. Both require training to control our busy and cluttered mind. To be comfortable in our own thoughts. These two have become even more difficult in our modern information flooded world, whether TikTok, Instagram or the growing number of apps that pull our minds toward the things of the world. Scientists have found that our constant flipping through the various “follows” has begun to change the physical structure of our brain in such a way that many are becoming incapable of thinking deeply and long on a subject, including God and His work. Instead, we have come to think and process in 3-5 second bursts.
Solitude and Silence become difficult if we cannot control the constant chaos of thoughts that run through our heads, often disconnected and erratic. In addition to that, we live in a culture that hates loneliness as the worst of all evils, so we hate being alone. We run to Airpods, radios, phones and social media to fill our fear of silence and our fear of how we appear to others, with noise and chaos, or we find we have a constant need to talk, defend ourselves or manipulate how others see us.
“Solitude is all about an inner fulfillment rather than the inner emptiness of loneliness.” [Foster] The world has given us a false sense of security and significance, which can only come from God, and replaced it with the lie of belonging that never satisfies. The promise of intimacy is replaced by “likes’ with no real connection, so we continue to feel alone and insignificant. Silence works to declutter your mind from the world to clearly hear the voice of God. To put aside the lies of the world and hear more clearly God’s truth about us and our world, letting go of the illusion of peace and connect honestly with our real feelings, desires and thoughts.
Jesus lived a life of chaos. Let me explain. Once Jesus began his healing ministry in Galilee he was constantly surrounded by crowds of the sick and hurting. When the press and demands of the crowds became overwhelming, Jesus, the God-man, retreated to a place of solitude, whether the wilderness, [Luke 5:16] mountain [Matthew 17:1-9] or Garden [Matthew 26:36-46] to hear the voice of His Father. If indeed, Jesus, needed to escape the chaotic noise of the crowds, how much more do we need to find time to retreat to our own mountain or garden to clear our minds and think clearly and listen?
True security and significance can only be ultimately found in our relationship with God, and that begins when I can harness the power of my mind, and to do that I need to unplug from the noise and begin to train my mind to reflect on the mercy, love and faithfulness of God.
What better place to do this than a garden or park, or the mountains as you focus on the creation that exclaims the person of the Creator? I recommend a detox from social media and noise and find time to be present in your own mind. This will take time and effort as you quiet your mind to hear the voice of God in the creation itself as well as the Spirit of God who dwells in you.
Control is the key to both silence and solitude. In our modern world, we have lost control of our minds as we have cluttered our minds with “stuff” so that the things of God become only a part of who I am, rather than allowing the truths of God and the Spirit infuse all we do and say. [Ecclesiastes 3:7; 5:1-2, James 3:1-12] This often causes us to experience what the ancients called, “The dark night of the soul.” What they meant is that often the distractions of the world and our own need to prove ourselves cause within us a dryness of the soul; a disconnect between ourselves and the freshness of the Spirit of God. Silence and Solitude allow for us to reconnect with the Spirit when we feel like we are in that dark place of loneliness.
What are some things that we can do?
First, look for those times of quiet that already exist in your daily life. Set the alarm for 10 minutes earlier and take that time to just be quiet and listen for the voice of God. This takes practice as our brain needs to be trained much like the muscles of our body. Start small and work up to the 10 minutes.
Second, set aside a place in your home that is your quiet place. It does not have to be large, just a place you can get away from people and things and just spend time in quiet listening for the Spirit.
Third, maybe find a place in your neighborhood or nearby park to just walk in silence and focus on the smells and sights and again, listen for the fresh voice of God. In that time, allow God to help you set a direction in your life, or convict you of things that may need to change. Trusting God is essential in this. Let him help “direct your paths.” As Foster states, “listen to God’s speech in his wonderous, terrible, gentle, living all -embracing silence.”
REFLECTION
Are you uncomfortable with the idea of silence or spending time alone with your thoughts? Why or why not?
Reflect on this statement from above: “True security and significance can only be ultimately found in our relationship with God, and that begins when I can harness the power of my mind, and to do that I need to unplug from the noise and begin to train my mind to reflect on the mercy, love and faithfulness of God.” Does this statement challenge you and your daily habits? How so?
How often do you retreat to places of solitude as Jesus did? If not often, why?
Challenge 1: Go on a walk around your neighborhood or at a nearby park. Don’t take headphones with you & put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Spend some time just being present in God’s creation in silence and solitude. Use this time alone to pray as you walk and rest in the presence of God.
Challenge 2: If you’re on social media (TikTok, BeReal, Instagram, Snapchat, etc), take a 1-2 week break to allow yourself the mental space to be present with God and others. Allow this time to help you quiet your mind and refocus your heart on the Lord.