Is $we@r!ng a Sin?

by Alexa Pedersen

QUESTION: Is swearing bad? How bad? Which words are bad? Who decides? 

ANSWER:

Good questions! Here is the “non-answer” answer you didn’t want.

What is a swear word anyway?

Let’s go straight to the Bible, first. The Bible tells us not to speak unwholesome words (Eph. 4:29), filthiness, silly talk, coarse jesting (Eph. 5:4), cursing (James 3:9-12), harsh words (Prov. 15:1), and careless words (Matt. 12:36-37). These are pretty broad guidelines, so we have to use our best judgment to define swearing further. 

I bet you have a list of words in your mind that you know are off-limits. These are the ones that you can’t say on TV. These are the words that bump a movie from PG to R. However, if you were to start writing an exhaustive list of these words, you’d probably get to a part of the list that isn’t quite as bad as the four-letter ones at the top, and you might be able to get away with saying those words in some places but not others. It starts to get unclear. 

You could probably think of a bad word that might not be considered a swear word, depending on who you ask. Your friend might have grown up in a house where that word was used, but it would have earned you some discipline in your house. Or maybe it’s a word you feel comfortable using around your friends, but you wouldn’t use it in front of your pastor. 

What about words we use as substitutes for swear words, like “shoot” or “darn”? They aren’t swear words, but they sure sound like the original. Where the “heck” do you draw the line? 

Hollywood might have a list of bad words for the purpose of movie ratings, but you won’t find one in the Bible. And if the Bible had a list of off-limits words, humans would inevitably find new and creative ways to be offensive. 

Bad words change and evolve over time. Words your grandparents wouldn’t dream of saying are spoken today with confidence. Think about the different cultures and nuances of languages. There are words we say all the time in America that would mean something very rude in the UK – and we both speak English! This is all to say that there is no universal, concrete list of bad words. 

What we know for sure is that words are not intrinsically evil. There are no combinations of sounds that are automatically sinful. Words are vehicles for information and attitudes, and you and I both know those can be sinful! The point is that there are a lot of gray areas when it comes to swearing, and you’re going to have to use discernment. 

Cultural Relevance Matters

Even though swear words can’t always be pinned down to concrete categories, we all know the cultural cues for our society. We may draw our lines in different places on the gray-area words, but we all know it wouldn’t be a good idea to use an R-rated word in a job interview. Cultural relevance matters. If the society you live in acknowledges that ____ is a bad word, don’t use it. Don’t be the person who says, “What? It just means ‘female dog’!” We all know what you meant. Check your heart. 

A Matter of Conscience

When choosing your words, listen to your conscience. Does your conscience prick you with guilt when you use that gray-area word? If so, it would be sin for you to use that word. Sinning against your conscience is a slippery slope. The more you ignore your conscience, the more you condition it to not tell you when you’re doing something wrong. Then, before long, you’re committing pretty obvious blunders without feeling any remorse. 

However, your conscience can only get you so far. You’ll likely find that the words that bother your conscience don’t always bother your neighbor’s conscience. What are you supposed to do with that? Here are a couple tips that I’ve learned over the years:

1: Resist the urge to judge. If your neighbor uses a word that your conscience won’t allow you to use, give them grace. Remember that the Bible leaves us with gray areas.

2: Don’t confuse their conscience for your own. This is the classic “he says it, so it must be okay” scenario. Remember that you answer to God, not your neighbor, for your actions. 

3: Read the room! If your conscience allows you to be freer than a fellow believer (in other words, if you feel okay saying a word that you know bothers your neighbor), don’t use that word around them. Don’t be a stumbling block to your brother or sister in Christ. (1 Cor. 8:9)

4: Play it safe. We can’t be privy to the ins and outs of another person’s conscience. So when in doubt, stay away from the gray-area words. Use language that you know isn’t going to offend. Remember, the point is not to find the line so that you can get your toes all the way up to the edge without stepping over. 

 What if my friends keep using words that offend me? 

Your neighbor isn’t necessarily sinning against you if they used a word they didn’t know offended you, but it’s a good idea to gently let them know. However, if you continue to put yourself in a situation where you are constantly hearing the words that offend you, that will affect your conscience. Examples of this include hanging with the wrong crowd or having a steady diet of R-rated movies. Before you know it, the first four-letter word that comes to mind when you stub your toe won’t be “ouch”. 

Are there any scenarios when it’s okay to swear?

I can’t say that every use of a “bad” word is sin – even the obvious ones. The Bible has several examples of the good guys using strong language, and it doesn’t seem to be wrong. Paul calls his former righteousness “rubbish” in Philippians, and that word in the original language means something much stronger. Paul also wishes the Jews would “mutilate themselves” or “cut themselves off” rather than require circumcision for gentile converts to Christianity. Isiah compares our self-righteousness to filthy menstrual rags. Ezekiel uses very vivid language to prophesy judgment on the sin of Israel. Malachi says God will spread refuse on the faces of the priests. If words are like spices, the prophets and apostles were not afraid to use the ghost pepper. Why wasn’t it wrong when they did it?

Consider their context. They were speaking strongly about the horridness of sin. Their subject matter was literally a matter of life and death. Whole people groups were on the wrong path, careening toward destruction, so the prophets and apostles used the strongest words in their arsenal to get their attention, convey the severity of the matter, and steer them toward the light. 

When choosing your words, check your motives. Don’t use the apostles and prophets as an excuse to swear freely. Do your words reflect that you love what God loves and hate what God hates? If not, it’s probably not a good enough reason to swear. 

What are you more tempted to do? 

Are you more tempted to swear in anger or swear just to get a laugh and look cool? Or do you get a little too much joy from writing citations to anyone who steps over the line? Whatever your temptation is, be aware of it and lean against it. 

 The Most Important Part

It’s the heart behind your words that matter more than the words themselves. Are you using your words to build people up or tear people down? (Eph. 4:29). You can tear someone down or be profane using only G-rated words. Though the Bible didn’t give us the full list of off-limits words, it does tell us what our hearts should look like. Edify, give grace, bless those around you, give thanks, be gentle.